NEW GROWTH
Goals are a hot topic right now. Part of this is because it's the beginning of a new year, and it's customary to start the year by making resolutions and setting goals. Another reason goals are getting a lot of attention is because of 2020 and how so many of us were affected by it. Last year changed how many of us are thinking about goals in 2021, and now we're all very aware of how outside circumstances affect our ability to achieve them. For many people, goals feel unattainable, frustrating, and not worth the effort and disappointment that is sure to accompany them. This does not have to be the case.
For me, I have to understand the bigger purpose they're serving for goals to work. Our goals are tied explicitly to the support and strengthening of our family mission - or, in other words, who we want to become. Last year, Calvin and I watched the show Ted Lasso together. If you haven't seen it, it's the story of Ted, a college football coach who is recruited to coach an English Premier League team - without any prior experience in the sport. One of the many things I absolutely love about this show is Ted's positive outlook in the face of some really difficult circumstances. At one point, Ted is criticized for his unconventional and laid-back method of coaching. His response is fantastic and essential to our current topic of goals. Ted says: "For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It's about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field." On the journey towards achieving goals, you have wins and losses. But it's not just about the wins and losses, it's about the new growth you experience along the way. Staying focused on the purpose that supports your goals is key to understanding everything between writing them down and crossing the finish line.
Disappointment seems connected to the conversation about goals and new year resolutions. This makes sense when goals are understood in a way that only allows for 100% fulfillment. For example, you may have a goal of reading every day for 365 days. You started strong and read for 40 days, but ended up missing 3 days because of sickness or some other circumstance outside of your control, but now the consistency chain is broken, the chance of hitting that goal perfectly is gone - so you give up and go about your year.
I believe this is an unhelpful way to think about goals.
This is unhelpful because the magic is not in the goal but the new growth we experience as we work towards our goals. Goals are not an end but a means to an end. The purpose of a goal is to make something true about yourself. For example, (hypothetically) if I set a goal to read every day for 365 days, it isn't merely to get to the end, celebrate my victory, and then move on. No! I've set a goal to read every day because I want to be a reader. Understanding this uncovered newfound freedom for me as a goal-oriented person. It provides hope and motivation in the middle of the year when things aren't going as planned. If I've missed 15 days of reading in a row, does that mean that I should stop reading and wait to start again until next year? No! Each day is a fresh opportunity to wake up, show up, and make a small step towards the goal. At the end of the year, maybe I only read for 100 days. That's 265 less than my target. But, when I hold that up against the 40 days spent reading the previous year, I begin to see the significant step made towards becoming a reader.
When it comes to goal setting, you have to continually be aware of why you're going after them in the first place. You have to understand the purpose of your goal.
When you set a goal or make a resolution, what purpose are they serving?
Here are three things you can do to help set goals with a clearly defined purpose while allowing room for growth and adjustment along the way.
1. Create a Mission Statement - Our family mission statement is a picture of what our family would look like if operating ideally. We don't operate perfectly, and we're all still learning how it all works with the various personalities in our family. Our family mission statement takes what scripture communicates to build the values we want to be true of our family.
2. Set Supporting Goals - Create goals that help strengthen and grow your ideal vision of yourself or your family. The goals that are most likely to get done are the ones that carry the most weight with our mission statement. We may have some goals that are more of a desire than a need - and that's okay. But set these goals assuming they may need to take a backseat to the most critical things or, if necessary, be removed from the list altogether.
3. Map the Route - Write out a plan for reaching your goals, starting with the next immediate step. This will allow you to start working right away and gain some momentum. Work hard and grow along the way knowing that you may need to reroute or reevaluate. But this is okay. If you keep the purpose and "why" of your goal in mind, you'll find that shifting course helps you grow and learn new ways of achieving your goals.
Our plans for the future are built mainly on hope for where we would like to be. But last year turned everything predictable upside down. And while life is continually adjusting, it seems to be changing at an ever-accelerating speed. With everything shifting, it's hard not to give a lot of attention to what is happening. But when most of our focus is given to what is constantly changing and how it's interrupting our plans, the things we're working on, and ultimately our lives - it can feel a little bit like losing hope.
How can we stay focused, stay motivated, and inject hope into 2021 as we try to make every moment count?
The truth is, the future is always unpredictable. This wasn't a new reality for us in 2020. Because of this, we can't hang all our hope on how we intend to shape our future. But we also shouldn't stop trying to move forward and work hard towards our goals. We must plan and be proactive stewards of our resources and time.
I desire to hold the tension of mapping a specific route to reach the desired destination while also being open to detours, reroutes, or the need to adjust plans completely. Because the most important thing at any given moment isn't about what goals we're pursuing, but how we're reacting and responding in the moment. It's how we're learning, growing, and being shaped along the way.
The way I try to balance this tension is by regularly doing the following:
Reflecting - Taking the time to reflect on the things that have taken place over the year has proven really helpful.
It helps me see how many things we set out to do were accomplished - in rerouted, indirect ways.
It provides an opportunity to revisit the motivations behind why we do the things we do.
It grounds me with a sense of thankfulness for all of the good things that happened.
It allows time to process the difficult things we've walked through and how they affect and shape us.
Reassessing - Reflecting is an excellent way for me to understand where I'm at right now. But Reassessing is taking that information and using it to determine what needs to happen next.
It allows us an opportunity to think through whether not we're focusing on the right things at the right time.
It provides the freedom to remove goals and areas of focus that are no longer important.
It helps us double down on the goals that are healthy and good for our family.
Rerouting - The final step is taking all of the information you've been processing and respond by mapping out an updated path for getting there.
It gives you clarity for the ways you need to prepare for your next steps towards your goal.
It injects confidence as you pursue your goals by breaking them into smaller steps.
It makes rerouting in the future more manageable and less discouraging.
When we experience a year like 2020, where we feel like we've lost a lot of control over what happened, it can make the future seem less hopeful. But hope is not controlling the future; it's casting aside the fear of the future. We do this by embracing things outside of our control while being faithful with the things we've been entrusted with. All the while, knowing that whatever comes our way shapes us for our good and the benefit of others.
If you’re looking for some additional help setting yourself up with goals, mission statements, and productivity, here is a list of essential blogs that will help give you some free resources to get started:
Goals are not just about the wins and losses, it's about the new growth you experience along the way. I’m offering the cover illustration as a free download to help remind you to stay focused on what’s most important.
Here’s to making 2021 incredible!
| Credits: Author: Jacintha Payne; Graphic Design - Marketeering & Jacintha Payne |