PRODUCTIVITY AS A MOM

What does it mean to be productive as a mom? This is a question that I've been wrestling with and seeking to find the answer to for the past year. 

During a recent visit to Louisville, I was able to spend some much needed time with my dear friend Rachael. Late one evening, while sitting on the couch discussing parenting, I began sharing some of my struggles and personal goals from this brand new world. The time was so encouraging, and I left feeling refreshed from the renewed focus. Rachael encouraged me to write my thoughts out and put them into a blog. So, here we are :) 

A DEFINITION OF PRODUCTIVITY

I've had the privilege of working in several different leadership roles, as I've mentioned before. My most recent position was as a manager for an event planning office. Full disclosure: I have a driven, task oriented, "go getter" personality. I love getting as much done as possible and the more I get done, the more productive I feel. Productivity, for me, has been about forward thinking, tasks, getting things done, and the end of the day stepping back and observing the fruit of my labor.

A DEFINITION REVISION

As Calvin and I were planning to have Emet, I knew this definition of productivity would not transfer into the day-to-day of raising a child in the home. So we sat down, opened up our computers, and did what we do best - we created a Google Doc. Haha!

The Google Doc listed out the things that were important to us and our family. We wrote down three bullet points:

• Commitments

• Priorities

• Values

Under each of these categories we listed the things that we wanted to see prioritized in our own lives and the lives of our children.  

COMMITMENTS

I knew life at home would look different than it did at the office. During this season, there was a shift from thinking about meeting deadlines and finishing projects to thinking about the development of a human being. Each season of life will look different. So, it's necessary to evaluate the things you want to get done in a particular season. A season can be a month, several months, a year, or several years. But I knew that I didn’t want this season to pass me by. We took the time to list out the following:

• Current commitments

• New commitments

• Things we could no longer commit to

Once we listed out our commitments, we then organized them according to their priority. As a mom - with both limited time and an innate desire to be productive - reassessing commitments for the next season of life was essential. Time is such a valuable thing. Once you know what you are giving yourself to, it makes it easier to know what is on your plate and when there is room to add more.

Some examples of commitments that are important to me were:

• Spouse (i.e. Dating, One-on-one time, Making time to communicate, Etc.)

• Children

• Church (Serving, Etc.)

• Work (Blogging, Etc.)

• Friendships (Investing in others, Hosting, Just Hanging Out, Etc.)

• Personal Development (Reading, School, Etc.)

• Working out

• Travel

We further broke down more details in each one of these categories. I knew I didn’t want this season to pass me by, nor do I want future seasons to pass me by. These commitments will be necessary to reevaluate as each new season comes and goes.

PRIORITIES

Now that we understood our commitments, we arranged how they should be prioritized. This required us to consider what was most important in this particular season. I made the decision to be at home with Emet for his first year. I realize this isn't possible for every mom or this may not be the best decision for your family. It just so happens that we were in a place where I could stay home with Emet, leaving the door open for other opportunities down the road. In the meantime, I knew that I wanted to work from home to some capacity and that's where this blog was born! (I usually spend most of my time writing in the evenings or while Emet naps.) 

When Emet is awake, I want to be as present as possible. I want him to learn how to self-entertain, but I also want to be accessible and connected while he is awake. The best way to do this is by creating a consistent schedule. Because Emet takes time, having a schedule allows me to give the appropriate amount of time to the other things that I'm committed to. 

During the hours I know he will be awake, I'm able to play with him, teach him new things, and correct him when necessary.  This is such a sweet and special time to spend with him. But these moments are easier to devote to him because of the schedule we have in place. Using a schedule has been beneficial for me because it has given me consistent blocks of time that I can count on for getting things done, meeting up with friends, or other fun activities (i.e. going to the zoo, museum, library, date nights, road trips).  

While Emet is an important part of my day and holds a high priority, that doesn't mean there aren't other things that are important and need my attention. It's just means that I've had to be intentional with his time so that both he and I know what to expect while still allowing time for other proirities.

VALUES

If commitments are blocks of time that fill your life, then priorities are the way you structure and plan out those blocks of time. However, for these blocks of time to be productive and rewarding there needs to be standard of quality that's invested into these areas of life. For me, these standards of quality are values.

When I'm spending time with Emet, I don't want to just pass time and get through the day. I want both of us to benefit from our time together. I want to feed off his sense of wonder and adventure. I want to learn to look at things like I'm seeing them again for the first time. But it doesn't stop with me simply observing him. I want to instill things in him by teaching him and leading by example. I want to help him understand the importance of character and being generous. I want to explain why certain things are good and other things are bad. I want him to know why some things are really important and other things are not.

For a person like me who thrives from results, it is easy to think to yourself "What did I actually do today?" However, when you are investing values into the life of your child, it grants you a significant amount of freedom from needing to see immediate results. Instilling values day after day yields a slow return on the investment - but in the end has life long results.

This doesn't stop with parenting. I also strive to be intentional with the time I spend with friends and extended family members. I want to use the time I have with people to get to know them deeper, encourage them better, and learn more from their experiences. 

Values, life-principles, worldview - whatever you want to label it - are what bring meaning and purpose to the time you are spending with your family and the people in your life. I've found this structure to be helpful to me as I have navigated through Emet's first year of life. And I'm finding that I have to go back and constantly reevaluate. I'm not under any illusions that I've somehow arrived or have found the secret to living a consistently productive life. However, in this season, these principles have helped me find the joy and reward in the day-to-day of being a wife, mom, and friend.

I'd love to hear from you and how you measure your productivity on a daily basis.

|  Credits: Author - Jacintha Payne; Photography - Calvin and Jacintha Payne  |