MORE AND LESS

When people ask me how I’m doing these days, my answer is simple - yet complex. I feel, in a word, free. But the journey to 2021 has been long and at moments wearying. My life has been a weird mix of wonderful moments and painful ones. Sweet mingled in with the bitterly sour. The last few years I’ve felt things coming to a head. A number of incredibly painful (yet necessary) conversations throughout my life, asking myself hard questions, and looking for answers landed me in 2020.

Last year, so much of what was normal and safe came crumbling down. Everything was shaken up and 2020 worked like a sieve to filter out the things that were weighing me down. In 2021, I feel a sense of freedom and like I’m on this journey with a much lighter load. I’m thankful for my life. I’m grateful for the people in my life - those that have come and gone and those who have stuck around for the long haul. Everything has been an opportunity to learn and grow - and I’m better for it. I’m glad that I’ve asked myself the hard questions about who I am, what I believe, and why. I’m different now. I’ve changed. I somehow care more and less at the same time. I care less about pleasing people. But I care more about loving Jesus and trying to be like him than I ever have in my life. 

2021 feels like I can breathe a little bit. I’m thankful for the wisdom that can grow with age and the steadiness that can come with it.

| Credits: Author - Jacintha Payne; Photography: - Calvin Payne |