A PAUSE FOR GRATITUDE - VOL. 05

In a world that can feel so hard, what are you grateful for? 

(A question we should be asking ourselves every day.)

Today this is my list:

1. The little pieces of hope for what’s to come. Whether or not the things we’ve decided to work towards actually happen in our life, they’ve been the boost of motivation Calvin and I needed to press on in this season.

2. For my dearest and most treasured friend, Calvin. This last month of working together has been some of the most precious time together. Who knows how long this season of working side by side at a desk in our home will last. I’m just gonna savor each day the best I can. I never wanted a lot, just to be miserably happy together. Next year will be 13 years of marriage and 16 years together and MY GOODNESS what a journey we’ve been through. We have both greatly failed in past hard times and then learned from them and how they made us stronger. I’m thankful for how we’re both committed to each other. For how Calvin has become the most precious human on earth to me through growing together in tough seasons. It’s interesting because Calvin and I talk about how this year we feel the happiest in life we have ever have. But the irony is that this year we have lost so much. Over the years we lost so much together so many times: homes, jobs, health...but whatever it was, we walked through it together and I’m so thankful for that.  And in reality we ended up gaining so much more.

3. That even in the midst of many hurtful relationships in my life (past and present) and the heartache they bring, I also have some of the strongest and dearest friendships I fully expect to last for the rest of my life. I’m thankful that distance and life changes keep us growing even stronger together still. For how these close friends have become part of my family.

4. My two sons. MY. WORD. As they grow and their little personalities shine through, I want to find a way to bottle every moment and save them forever. I’m thankful for the opportunity to learn how to teach them that relationships and the attitude of our hearts matter more than what’s externally visible. 

5. How we’ve recently rearranged our house. I feel like everything fits as best it can for us in this season and there is something so refreshing to me with maximizing the space we have as best we can. Whatever that may look like. 

6. Our sweet dog Monica. I can’t believe we’ve had her 8 years. It’s incredible how much joy she brings to our family.

7. All the things Calvin has built for me over the years. It makes it so happy and sweet to think of the love and care that was built into them for our family.

8. Our little yard and my garden. We don’t have a lot of space, but the space that we do have is filled with the things that bring joy and encourage time outside.

9. Chickens. It has been nice to have these little friends and watch them grow throughout this season of being home more. They are so much fun and and truly sweet animals with unique personalities. 

10. Our home cooked meals. Over the years, our catalog of recipes has grown. There have been a few doozies (this one with blended broccoli - it was disgusting). But for the most part, our home cooked meals have me craving eating at home all the more.

11. The ability to see, hear, taste, and feel. I don’t ever want to take these gifts for granted.

12. I just finished reading through Job and it was a sobering and convicting reminder to talk about everything with God including how I feel. I’m so thankful I’m able to approach God with boldness and honesty in prayer, even in the midst of pain - for both myself and others. I haven’t always allowed myself the time in life to process feelings. In the midst of desiring to love God just for who God is, I’m constantly learning the balance of being sorrowful yet always rejoicing - in hardship and in blessing. I’m thankful for the hope that I have in Him even though life is just a breath. 

| Credits: Author: Jacintha Payne; Photography - Ali Marsh |