HARD WORK AND CHORES
I'm a firm believer in addressing the heart of my children before spending time working on adjusting their behavior. At the same time, I believe in the benefits of developing good habits with my children. As with everything, there is a balance at play here. When I talk about balance, I'm not thinking about a scale that equals out, but stones that stack on top of each other. Matters of the heart are one of the major foundational rocks that everything else is stacked on. I like to think of good habits as the helpful support stones near the edge that help keep everything from toppling over.
I found myself faced with the question: "How can I ingrain good habits in my children while also making the process fun and enjoyable?"
Habits will form one way or the other, it's a matter of whether the right ones will be established. It's easy for poor habits to create themselves. Creating good habits requires intention and purpose.
We're wanting to take a proactive step in instilling responsibility and thoughtfulness in our boys.
To do this, we've implemented a "Hard Work Tracker" for our boys. In short, we've compiled a list of necessary actions we want to be natural for our boys. These actions go beyond just making their beds and clearing the table, but also includes things like responding in the right way (even when it's hard). Whenever the boys complete a task on their Hard Work Tracker, they get a sticker. When their tracker is complete (it takes a few days) they can turn their chart in for a prize from the prize basket. The prizes range from a sheet of stickers to matchbox cars, etc.
This process I'm describing in this blog is something my friend has been doing in her home for a while. We've adapted it a little for our family and tried it out this year. It’s been a lot of fun!
We want to work as a team in our family. We all try to contribute in some way to each responsibility in our home. We have the attitude that if it needs to be done…do it! But this requires more than just telling our children what needs to be done, it requires us showing them what needs to be done. It means taking the time to teach them how we expect them to take out the trash, clean the toilet, know where toys go, etc. It's making sure they have everything they need to do the job the proper way. This takes time, but it's essential for making this exercise a success.
It has also been an opportunity to help our boys understand the ways they can work together. For example: if Emet is vacuuming, Abner can point out all the places that are missed. If Abner is putting the new small trash bag into the can, Emet can help push it in. When they work together on a chore, it’s worth double the stars (stickers). Because teamwork can be a challenge - but it also makes the dream work.
The boys love knowing exact ways that they can be helpful with specific tasks. And asking how they can help in other ways too!
It’s my favorite when Emet jumps up to help unload the dishwasher. I want to make it easy for him to be a part, even when he doesn’t know where things go. So we let him just put anything on our kitchen table that he is unsure of.
These are some of the ways our boys can earn a sticker for their Hard Work Tracker:
Completing a chore on the “Chore Chart”
Finishing your instrument practice
Staying in your own bed all night
Staying settled during periods of quiet time
Jumping in to help
Cleaning up after you’re finished playing
Sharing with your brother
Preferring others
Being a friend to your brother
Finishing school pages without complaining
It’s been fun to watch each of the boys pick their preferred prizes! It’s a sweet perk to get to know our boys better and what their favorite things are.
Do you have a method of actively instilling responsibility and thoughtfulness in your children?
If you'd like to try out implementing a Hard Work Tracker, I've created a free tracker you can pick up in my store. There are even some fun ones specially designed for the holiday season for $2. Check them out! I'd love to hear how they work for your family and hear feedback from you.
| Credits: Photography & Author- Jacintha Payne |
