HOSTING A DINNER: PEOPLE

One of my favorite things to do is host a dinner at my home. It's a great time to ask questions and create lasting friendships. Some of my dearest friendships have been made over the dinner table.  At first, planning these get-togethers took a lot of time and thought. However, over the years I've created an easily replicated routine. I've compiled some questions people have asked me about hosting. I hope you find some or all of them helpful as you plan to host your next dinner.

QUESTION: WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO "HOST?" HOW DO YOU ADJUST TO FIT DIFFERENT GROUPS, PEOPLE, AND PERSONALITIES?

HOSTING

Hosting is all about the experience of the other person. Experience can mean different things to different people, but here is how I like to define it in terms of hosting: 

ex·pe·ri·ence

Creating a lasting impression by providing a memorable, comfortable, and welcoming environment for guests. This environment both makes your guest feel at home while also cultivating an atmosphere that supports building meaningful relationships.

When hosting, you want to be hospitable, generous, and leave a positive lasting impression with your guest. I like to imagine that I am giving my guests a window into what it looks like to live in the Payne home. The key to achieving this is both thinking ahead and paying attention to your guests once they have arrived. 

THINKING AHEAD

CONSIDER THE AUDIENCE

Consider who will be coming over for dinner.  If they are coffee people, make sure you have coffee ready to be made after dinner.  If they have children, you want to make their children feel welcome as well by providing coloring books, toy bins, etc.  The main idea is to be thoughtful and considerate of your guests.

THINK OF QUESTIONS TO ASK

Put together questions to ask during dinner.  Often, I will put a question under everyone's plate and have everyone go around the table and answer the question.  These can be thought provoking questions, such as: "What is your favorite memory from this year?" Or, the question can be fun and geared towards younger members of the family. If you are wanting some help thinking of questions or just want some to quickly print out, I've put together some pre-made Dinner Questions.

SEATING ARRANGEMENT

When setting the table, seat people near those they are comfortable with but also spread out your talkers. You don’t want conversations getting stuck at one end of the table. Create seating arrangements that allow for conversation flow.

PAYING ATTENTION

PAY ATTENTION TO THE TEMPERATURE

You want your guests to feel comfortable when they are at your house. Something that can often be overlooked is the temperature of your house. You don't want your guest to be too hot or too cold.  Feel the freedom to simply ask your guests if they are comfortable. You can also watch to see if they are grabbing an extra layer of clothing, etc.

WATCH THEIR DRINKS

Even though you're wanting them to feel at home, you have to remember that they're not at home. In your own home, if you want a drink you can simply go to the kitchen grab a glass and pour yourself one. Eventually, your guests may get comfortable enough to "make themselves at home" in this way. In the mean time, it is important to think ahead and read body language. Watch their beverage glasses and keep them filled. Read their body language, pay attention to whether they are trying to find a way to call it a night or if they are desiring to spend a little more time together.

FIND WAYS TO "CHECK IN"

Throughout the evening find ways of checking in with your guest and see how they're doing. You want to do this in a way that is subtle and doesn't interrupt the flow of the evening. Ask how their week is, what their day looks like tomorrow - this can help give you a gauge of whether or not they may be looking to turn in early. If someone needs to leave early, the last thing you want to do is delay dessert, get out games, or created extended conversations. A good way to find out their intentions is to mention you have dessert, game, movies, etc. and see how they respond. If they need to leave soon, serve dessert with conversation. If not, begin activity and serve dessert halfway through.

These are just a few of the things that have worked well for me. I'd love to hear some of your ideas for creating memorable experiences for guests. 

|  Credits: Author - Jacintha Payne; Photography - Calvin and Jacintha Payne  |