What is something you would go back and tell yourself 10, 8, or even 6 years ago?

I’m so thankful for how much I’ve changed over the years. These past few months have caused me to re-evaluate how I focus my time, once again. The things I value. What I treasure. What I prioritize. What’s most important.

If I could go back I would tell myself...

To value my marriage more. To assume positive intent more quickly with Calvin. That motherhood is an incredible sacrifice and to have more respect for moms and not think of it as any less than that - even though that wasn’t what was modeled for me.

I’ve had to have some hard and uncomfortable conversations with parents, loved ones, and bosses. But most of the time, fruitful conversation didn’t happen until I stepped away and analyzed what I wanted so say before I said it in those challenging relationships. I would tell my 6-years-ago-me: assess what the goal of the conversation is and prepare your thoughts. Determine the most helpful direction before hand.

I would say: be bolder in my communication of what I knew was right and wrong. No matter how hard it was. That being peaceable doesn’t always mean staying quiet. It’s being slow to speak then when I do speak it’s filled with wisdom and not for selfish gain.

I would be quicker to remember: that everything is temporary. Good and hard. To savor the sweet more quickly and fully. And to remember those hard things won’t last forever and that I’m being refined from those moments.

I would tell myself to be more selective with those friends that I allow in the deepest. To my 19 year old self: don’t worry about trying to be friends with those who you didn’t admire and respect. That I can still love and care for those people but in a different way. To be filled with kindness and grace. To be quick to let things roll off my back.

Oh yeah, and to protect my skin more and not treat it so horribly - along with many other things.

Cheers to growing in wisdom as we age.

|  Credits: Author - Jacintha Payne; Photography - Calvin and Jacintha Payne  |