JACINTHA PAYNE

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LIVING THANKFULLY

One area I've challenged myself to work on is the practice of thankfulness. Being thankful comes naturally to some, while others have to work very hard against habits and inclinations to be a thankful person. I believe looking at life through the lens of thankfulness will not only make you more pleasant to be around, it will also provide you with more everyday enjoyment. Thankfulness is a habit to be learned - so whether or not thankfulness comes easy to you, my hope is that this blog will help you think through how to be someone who is marked by thankfulness.

Whenever I think of thankfulness, I typically think of it in two categories: Internal and External. 

INTERNAL

Our actions flow out of our internal disposition. Often, we can deceive ourselves by believing that our internal thoughts are private and unknown to those around us. However, the way we think about things and the way we process internally will always effect the way we act outwardly. When thinking about the internal side of being thankful, it involves understanding how we are inclined to process and think about things. 

THE BENEFITS OF BEING A THANKFUL PERSON

  • Being a thankful person makes you a more enjoyable person to be around. You're more likely to look for the positive and redeemable qualities in things, which creates a enjoyable atmosphere for you and others.

  • Being a thankful person makes you more productive. Thankfulness breeds positivity. Therefore, you're less likely to wallow in negativity.

  • Being a thankful person makes you more influential to others. The more you see the good and the things you have to be thankful for, it becomes infectious and attractive. It motivates you to want to be thankful because of the life and energy it produces.

HOW I KNOW WHEN I'M AN INTERNALLY THANKFUL PERSON

  • When I'm internally thankful, I tend to focus on what I have, not what I'm lacking (Glass half full versus half empty). I'm able to see all there is to be thankful for.

  • When I'm internally thankful, I'm less likely to complain.

  • When I'm internally thankful, it results in being marked by contentment. This doesn't mean I stop making and pursing goals. It does mean that I find enjoyment from the things that I already have.

EXTERNAL

External forms of thankfulness are the outward ways we show appreciation for the things that we have and for the people in our lives. The more that we show thankfulness externally, the more we think about all the things that others have done for us, and the more thankful we become.

Here are two practical ways to begin showing thankfulness externally:

  • Verbally

This one is really straightforward, to put it simply: "Say thank you." I'm frequently surprised by how many opportunities we have every day to tell someone thank you. Don't be afraid of communicating all you are thankful for in someone. 

Being thankful verbally doesn't have to be something that is separate from your normal conversational habits. Share and talk about how thankful you are for things. Allow the things you're thankful for to be woven into each conversation you have. Anytime someone sacrifices their time, energy, or resources it's an opportunity for you to exercise verbal thankfulness. 

  • Thank You Notes

Taking the time to sit down and write out your thankfulness for someone is a great habit to form. Not only is it kind to express thankfulness to someone, it also grows your love and affection for that person as you reflect on them. When I'm sitting there, I can't help and think of all the ways I am thankful for that person in my life. 

There are obviously a number of ways that you can send someone a note of thanks (card, email, text, etc.). Sometimes sending a text is a great way to tell someone thank you. However, don't underestimate sending someone a handwritten note. Taking the time to pick up a card, selecting a nice pen, and writing your thoughts down to communicate love and appreciation in a way that is more personal.

I have seasons when I'm better about writing thank you notes than others. Usually, it's because I overcomplicate the process. It's a continuous battle. I need to remember that writing a simple "thank you" is better than not saying anything at all. 

Another fun way of making your thank you even more personal is by designing your own thank you cards. This allows you to customize the card, make it personal, and directly relate it to the person you are sending it to. Sometimes, it's hard to find the right card for the right situation. So recently, I've taken the time to put together some handmade cards with some of my favorite personal sayings.

You can design a card that simply says thank you or you can get creative and include words, phrases, or drawings that are specific to the situation.

Sometimes it's hard to be thankful. Life can be hard and circumstances have a way of blinding you to all the wonderful things in your life you have to be thankful for. If you struggle with cultivating internal thanksgiving, a good place to start is with external expressions. Over time, you'll create habits of thankfulness - which will effect both your internal and external expressions of thankfulness.

You may be asking the question: "Where do I begin if I want to be a thankful person? Do I start with the internal and evaluate my thoughts and attitude or do I put into action behaviors that express thankfulness?" The answer to this question is yes - you should do both. It's good to evaluate yourself and understand why you do the things you do and how that effects your disposition of being thankful. It's equally important to put into practice behaviors that not only express thankfulness but that also stir up thanksgiving in your heart.

(*This is my first round of creating the cards you see featured here. I hope to create more formalized versions of these and more available for purchase soon - be on the lookout.)

What are some ways that you make a habit of being thankful? 

 

 

|  Credits: Author - Jacintha Payne; Photography - Calvin and Jacintha Payne  |